By Sarah Parker
This article was originally printed in the November/December 2025 Issue of ‘hood. Check out the full digital issue at the link!
Blended families are becoming more common, which can make planning things like the holidays more complicated. What’s meant to be a season of peace and joy can quickly turn into a complex web of schedules, travel plans, and traditions—especially when parents, children, and grandchildren all have several Christmases to celebrate.
For Denise and Greg, the holidays are a time to embrace it all—the joy, the chaos, and the compromises that come with a large, blended family. In their blended family, they share five grown children and seven grandchildren, each with their own families, traditions, and calendars.
Denise admits she has always dreamed of having a holiday straight out of a Hallmark movie—simple, magical, and full of sparkle. Her love of Christmas shines through in every corner of her home, where over 15 Christmas trees fill the rooms each year.
But Denise also knows that the holidays are about more than twinkling lights and pretty decorations. Over time, she’s learned that the true magic of a blended family Christmas comes from loosening expectations and focusing on what matters most: connection.
Letting Go
Everyone, whether in a blended family or not, has their own holiday “template.” The things you grew up with, your favorite holiday memories, and traditions. Compromising and creating new family traditions can be complicated with just a few people. It can become even more complicated with larger blended families. Each person brings their own version of what the holidays should look like.
Denise has learned and embraced the reality that compromises are necessary. It’s not about the perfect Hallmark-type Christmas; it’s about being with those you love most.
Embracing What Works
Instead of focusing on when or how they gather, they focus on who they get to be with. This shift has allowed them to slow down, spread out celebrations, and create meaningful time with loved ones throughout the entire season.
In a family with so many moving parts, being open to new traditions or ways of doing things is essential. Over the years, they have found that they end up getting more quality time with everyone when they aren’t trying so hard to fit everyone else into their template.
Each year, Denise and Greg also take time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t. If someone feels slighted, they take the time to think about changes they can make next year.
Finding New Ways to Connect
When everyone can’t be together in person, Denise finds other ways to stay connected. She and Greg love to send out Christmas cards every year, keeping family and friends close through updates. Technology has undoubtedly made things easier as well. FaceTiming grandchildren as they open gifts when they can’t be there is a gift in itself.
One of their favorite ways to stay connected beyond Christmas week is through Sinterklaas, the Dutch Santa tradition from Greg’s heritage. Celebrated in early December, it invites children to place wooden shoes out, and they receive small gifts. Even though all their children are now adults, they still look forward to this tradition each year! It’s a great way to have a connection point and tradition not connected to Christmas Day.
A Season of Gratitude
As a mother and grandmother, Denise’s perspective on the holidays has deepened with time. She knows that no family gathering will ever be perfect. There will always be busy schedules, pets underfoot, and moments of chaos. But she counts her blessings every day.
The holidays are about so much more than things going your way. Denise hopes her children and grandchildren feel the magic of the season, give back to those in need, embrace creating their own traditions, and deeply know how much they are loved.
